"8 Banana Clyde" - a Hector Schweewee Original

Hector Schweewee - the once famous rhinoceros man, has donated his most famous paper plate art - "8 Banana Clyde." We are dishonored to have it.

"8 Banana Clyde"


- Schweewee on several forms of hallucinogens when created
- Octopus face
- Penis tie

Simply drive to Melvin HQ and we will give to you.

Wart - 555-0989

"Ernest Clopp" - an Ernie Clopp Original

The famous, once dead but now alive, Ernest Clopp has been kind enough to submit his self portrait, originally created in the late 1700's but restored 1in 1876.

"Cloppenstein"

Commissioned by the Foundation to get Max Vernon a Haircut

- 3 noses
- mediocre physical condition
- ugly

Asking $3.50 obo. *Real life Ernie Clopp not included.

Monday Afternoon Food Review: Turkey Sandwich and Chicken Chili

Venue: Jason's Deli
Item(s): Turkey Sandwich on Bagel, Chicken Chili

Turkey Sandwich



"The sandwich was as big as my head, which is saying a lot. Poorly put together, couldn't close the damn thing. All in all, it was a mess. I appreciate the effort, but I need more.

5/10

Chicken Chili



"Maybe the best chicken chili I've ever consumed. Spicy, hot - delicious. Kudos to the chef and the guy named Wendell that handed it over to me. Nothing short of spectacular."

10/10

"Suspicious Package" - an Aunt Irma Estelle Original

We are honored to be offering for sale the original "Suspicious Package" freeform drawing, once famously pictured in the hit comedy "Owen Lift: The Man, The Doo."

"Suspicious Package" - circa 1887


Commissioned by the Capolo Henderson Foundation.

Aunt Estelle offered : "The drawing is a statement on the fear people harbor for international wrapped items. Also, Cheetos."

Asking $.44 OBO.

Estelle - 555-FOOT

"Oberman in Underwear" - a Stan Bixby Original

We are delighted to announce the arrival of the fantastic "Oberman in Underwear" canvas piece submitted by longtime friend Capolo Henderson.

"Oberman in Underwear" - circa 877 B.C.

Commissioned by the Capolo Henderson Foundation.

Asking 7 pairs tighty-whitie underwear obo. Skidmarks not preferred but will be considered.

Wendell - wendell.lump@gmail.com

"Karol Kat Cat" - A Cornelius Flemm Original

We unfortunately are required to attempt to sell this drawing, even though it does not meet the standards usually set here at The Mel.

"Karol Kat Cat" - circa 2011 (drawn in bathroom)


Commissioned by the Cornelius Flemm Foundation

Asking a potato skin peel obo. Will accept nothing if you agree to just pick it up.

Vic Shealy - 555-LOSE

"Lettuce Head" - A Bernie Clyde Exclusive

This is truly a treat here at the Melvin!

Bernard Clyde, famous lettuce artist from just outside Fairbanks, Alaska, has given us the honor of auctioning off his "Lettuce Head" original drawing.

"Lettuce Head" - circa 1348


Commissioned by the Billy Petunia Foundation

Asking $4,000,001 obo. Curator Wendell in charge of this masterpiece.

*Lettuce not included

Email wendell.lump@gmail.com for more information.